Mormon Apostle Orrin Porter Rockwell Tells All
Gossip From The Avenging Angel!
Okay, folks, this is the reveal of all reveals! I may have killed more men than Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday, Tom Horn, and Bat Masterson combined but I ain’t ever lied to no one. You may already be a wondering how the hell is this possible. Wouldn’t blame ya. I was born a long, long time ago and “supposedly” died a long, long time ago. And no, I ain’t been drinkin’ all that time. I got much to tell and it’s gonna take quite a while, but if you're up for it, then I am also. In my younger days, I could not read nor write, but after years of sarcastic comments from Brother Wilford, I decided to prove him wrong. It might have been better for the church if Brother Wilford had kept his mouth shut.
Weekly Reveals and Gossip
These here God damn epistles are gonna be shared every week; I’m a guessin’ for a long time. After all, if you've been around as long as I have, you'd have a lot to say as well. I know you're gonna be downright surprised, just like a convert finding out that all things sacred are, in fact, all things secret. In my day, you'd have to “destroy” the horse's asses that opened their God damn mouths. Done that too many times. Let’s face it, no one gonna try to destroy the God damn Destroying Angel himself, are they? They ain’t got balls to do so. Plus, I ain’t never gonna die!
“And if you do so you will never die.”
Most everyone, I doubt not, will recall or have been told that the Prophet Joseph told me, “I prophesy, in the name of the Lord, you — Orrin Porter Rockwell — so long as ye shall remain loyal and true to thy faith, need fear no enemy. Cut not thy hair, and no bullet or blade can harm thee.” What was not writ at the time, or since, that Brother Joseph concluded his prophecy with one more sentence! The Prophet said to me also, “And if you do so you will never die.” And here I am, God damn 144 years longer than you ever knew it. What actually took place in June 1878 was not my physical or spiritual death; I have to admit the play at the theater was kinda boring, but my daughter was happy to see it, but in fact, my ordination as an Apostle. Before me and since I was not a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles my remit was kinda different, I’m sure you understand. So much so it was necessary that it appeared I had passed on to the next world. And so it was. I am sure you can guess how much fun Old Porter can have when even the Saints think I’m deep down in the dirt and under the sod. It was quite the time, Brother Brigham had passed over in 1877, and Brother Taylor was leading the Twelve in tumultuous times until he was ordained as the 3rd Prophet of the church in 1880.
Why Re-enter the Public Domain?
And so it was, in 1878, that the Twelve needed the greatest assistance while most were running and hiding from the God damn authorities in Washington who used every excuse they could to run them all down that citing plural marriage or polygamy was the reason. Now, although I’ve been married three times in my life, those good sisters left me due to divorce or death. No polygamy for Old Porter; I ain’t got the patience for more than one woman, I can attest, and absolutely not a jot of patience for most men either.
And so it is, in 2022, coincidently, on the birthday of the Mormon church, April 6th, that I, Apostle Orrin Porter Rockwell, come out of my secret but beautiful apartment just off State street and 3rd South in Great Salt Lake City. But why, you may all ask?
Honestly, I’ve had many unsettling moments in the almost 200 years since being one of the first official members of the Mormon church. Brother Joseph always treated me well, if not for his own ends. Brother Brigham managed to control me most of the time, as he did with most people. Brother Taylor was English, nothing more to be said. Brother Wilford, well, I have much to say about Wilford. The church, as organized by Brother Joseph, took worrying turns during the presidency of Wilford. I have much to tell from behind those secret, sorry, sacred walls. Ol’ Heber has much to answer for, to say the least. And so it was, and is, for those to follow, until Brother Nelson. It was from January 2018 that I, even Porter Rockwell, became so disturbed that I could stand it no longer. Peculiar no longer, although I could see it coming for many years, this eternal Apostle has done what I was always known for, Shoot ’em before they shoot me.
The Reveals Start Next Week
Brother Joseph may have had an exceedingly large imagination far beyond my understanding, it is true, but I loved him no less. What he imagined and created under the guise of a church of Christ was peculiar and different. What his church has evolved into would be unrecognizable to him today. Quite the feat for a church that was supposed to restore all things ancient with rock-solid, never changing doctrines and beliefs. Money, especially money and power, always creates a system where the few cares about the few, and the many continue to suffer. I never had much, never needed much, and believed with all my heart, but eventually, even this cowboy had enough. I walked from my apartment to the Salt Lake Temple almost every day, and at one time, the Angel Moroni atop the spire inspired me. Alas, no more; if I am to live forever, I must face the truths I know in the same manner I faced all men who held a gun before me. No delay, no deference, and no doubt.
Read what I have to say about last weekend's Conference and what Brother Heber J. Grant and I argued about in the 1940s. And much more. Until then, keep yah finger on the trigger!
© Stephen G. Arrowsmith 2022
To see more of my work, please check out the following articles. Please feel free to share, give me a clap, and follow me for up-to-date writings.
