NEWSFLASH! British Teenager Johnny Gould Finds A Gold Bible!
16-Year-Old Boy Discovers 2,000-Year-Old Ancient Gold Plates
A local photographer captured an intimate moment after teen Johnny Gould translated so-called ancient gold plates using his magic reading glasses. According to the photographer, Gould later said that distance glasses don't work for divine translation but are terrific for speaking long-distance directly to God! I wonder where he got those religious glasses? Not Specsavers, I'm sure.
Yesterday, a local teenager, Johnny Gould, supposedly came across ancient 2,000-year-old gold plates under a large rock in Queens Park in Crewe, Cheshire, England. When asked how he came to find such treasure, Johnny replied, "An angel from the distant past came to me in my sleep one-night last year and told me God chose me to be His prophet." He continued, "The angel was named Kiraman, and he told me if I were a good kid and didn't tell anyone, he would reveal the sacred place to me."
Johnny Gould lives with his family in Minshull New Road in Crewe, not far from the large park. Harry and Mabel Gould, his parents, told the news reporter, "Johnny is a good boy. He does have his issues, medically, that is, but with meds, he has done well to overcome them. So he is no longer quite as out there."
A Crewe Chronicle reporter wrote, "Eventually," said Johnny, "the angel Kiraman returned and told me I had been good, and now was the time to seek out the golden plates of ancient scripture." When asked where the place was, Johnny stated, "It was under a boulder or rock in the park; it took me three hours to dig it out. I can take you there."
When asked by local reporters to view these ancient gold relics, Johnny explained, "I cannot show them to anyone, or my gifts of 'spiritual translation' will be taken away. The angel Kiraman threatened me and said my family would be destroyed if I did so. He also told me he could record my thoughts and feelings." Gould then relented somewhat and offered a compromise. The teen said we could take photographs of the sacred plates as long as he covered them so God would not punish him. Gould seemed naively surprised when we said that was pointless; he said, "I'm not lying; I'm just doing what God told me to do."
As the crowds of people and police gathered outside the Gould home, his parents told the reporters, "Johnny has to go in to eat his tea now; he said he will chat again tomorrow." So I will try and arrange a one-on-one interview tomorrow and obtain more information about this fantastic but strange find.
The Crewe police then cleared the crowds as Minshull New road was the main artery to Leighton hospital and could not be blocked any longer!
Watch this space for more breaking news! Much more to come. Is Johnny Gould for real, or is he a scammer? Will Queens Park in Crewe become a sacred religious site? In this day and age, are people open to a Prophet of God walking around Crewe? Or will Johnny Gould go the way of many so-called prophets before him? Update to come!
© Stephen G. Arrowsmith 2022
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